Something. Neither of us gives it to him.“I just don’t want there to be,” he starts again. “ ... hard feelings.”I swirl the bourbon in the glass. Look down at it. Hear her breath under the music. I can always hear her breathe. It’s the heartbeat in every conversation we’ve ever had. I see her scrunch her toes on the carpet, most likely cold. And anxious.Can we just speak plain?“Don’t worry about that at all,” I reassure him. “I want this to happen. Please accept this as a gesture of my friendship.” My glass wishes him salut.We’re playing for the same teamThe only woman I’ve ever loved takes his hand and he willingly follows her buttocks towards the stairs. At the base of the stairwell she pulls him down to whisper in his ear. He pulls back and nods, then picks her up into his arms and begins ascending the stairwell. Her arms wrap around his neck and her face gets very close to his, him inhaling her breath. The breath that sustains me.But I’m the one that’s acting like acting like. There she was, dressed in a tank top, gym shorts and running shoes. She looked great; there didn't seem to be an ounce of fat on her.As I walked in, she must have seen my reflection in the TV monitor, because without turning or breaking stride she said,"Hi John, I'm glad you decided to join me. I set up the other machine at a medium walk to start; just press the green button and start walking."I did what she said and soon I was walking at a comfortable pace. Every once in a while I would sneak a glance over at her. Her top was wet with sweat and clung to her shapely breasts. I felt myself beginning to get aroused and turned my head back, chastising myself. After about a half an hour, she started her cool down and told me how to do it on my machine. I was only too happy to."OK that's enough of cardio; press the red button. Now we'll start you off on some of the circuit machines."'Great, ' I thought to myself, 'here's where I really embarrass myself.' MaryAnn set up the first machine.
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